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F)y mother uuants me to stay home and uisit the hospital again tomorrow. The coaches put me on the aduanced team, and JT block out all thoughts of my grandmother and play my heart out — for fifteen minutes.

EVALUATION The writer of this essay detailed her involvement with soccer in a number of places on her college application, from a description of activities, to a recommendation from her coach, to a list of awards. Instead, she combined the experience of trying out for a regional www. The result is a unique piece that tells the reader more about the writer, and displays her ability to convey her feelings and experiences effectively through the written word. For instance, look back to the list of qualities colleges are looking for (page 71). Of the nine qualities, only two are not included (intellectual ability and academic achievement). Next, review the tips on pages 77-78 for avoiding the most common essay blunders.

Note how this essay, while it ends with a dying grandmother and failure to make the team, avoids negativity. The writer is honest about her emotions, and comes across as a strong person who, while hurt by the experiences she describes, has the strength and inner resources to keep moving forward. The piece is original, deeply personal, confident without being pompous, and set in the recent past.

UNTIMED PROMPT 2 Describe a character in fiction, an historical figure, or a creative work (as in art, music, science, etc.

JC aiaidty remember the time dT first heard the poem "The T)ash. Ply Coach, f)aue Thomas, huddled us up at center court, and told us to take a seat. Coach Thomas pulled out a piece of paper from his back pocket and unfolded it. He began to read us this poem, an unusual thing for a coach to do at a basketball practice. The poem is about the dash in- between the date of birth and the date of death on a graaestone. Plaiden uarote, "People may forget your birth and death, but they uill neaer forget your dash. This poem made me think about uahat dT am doing Nth my dash, and hat others Nil be left to think about my dash. Through music Jdd express my thoughts and emotions. Jdn school Jd play drums in concert band, and also played drums and piano in a highly regarded Jdaa pro- gram. Although Jd took piano lessons as a child, Jd never really enjoyed practicing and quit bvhen Jd tuas in middle school. Jd taught myself hocu to play the music Jd loved and buorked aery hard to become a good piano player.

Jd spend more time sitting oaer my keyboard and recording on my computer than anything else Jd do. The satisfaction of facing the challenges a top notch school like State Uniuersity has to offer buill inspire me to keep buorking my hardest. State University bJiH continue shaping me into a better person buith its buide varieties of learning experiences. Jd hope others bviH think of me as a hard, determined buorker buho aUays tries to do the right thing. Jd knobu that as long as Jd put forth my best effort in buhatever Jd am doing, the dash buill take care of itself. EVALUATION Referring again to the list on pages 77-78, this essay commits a serious essay blunder that weak- ens it considerably. It contains numerous cliches (and you might argue the subject in gen- eral is unoriginal).

In addition, the writer cheap custom written papers where to buy a research paper did not carefully proofread his essay. The third para- graph carelessly shifts from present to past tense a number of times.

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Paragraph four begins with a run-on sentence, and there are numerous punctuation errors throughout the essay. UNTIMED PROMPT 3 As part of a communications project and to get ready for the future, you attend a workshop called The Power of Language in the Workplace. Here, you listen to a speech given by Joseph Brown, CEO of a financial services company, about the effects of language. You think about the mes- sages you learned by listening to this speech, and you use that information to write an essay that discusses how appropriate language is important, not only in the workplace, but in everyday life.

Guidelines: Tell your audience what they need to know about using appropriate language in the work- place and in all aspects of daily life.

Use specific, accurate, and relevant information from the speech to support your discussion.

Recording to Joseph prourn, CEO of a prominent financial services company, language is a powerful force that can he used as a means toward great suc- cess or great destruction. Jdn his speech, iSfouvn told a personal story that helped him realize the pocuer of language. People in social situations may use their volume to dominate the con- versation. The poorer of language is something bve should all take into consideration every time bve open our mouths to speak. EVALUATION This essay is fully developed with a broad range of information and student commentary. Specific details from the speech are accurately and appropriately given throughout. There is a logical order, where to buy a research paper with a clear introduction, a well-developed body, and a strong conclusion.

There are essentially no errors in grammar, punctuation, capitalization, or spelling even when the writer used sophisticated language. UNTIMED PROMPT 4 Write a critical essay in which you discuss two works of literature you where to buy a research paper have read from the par- ticular perspective of the statement that is provided for you below.

In your essay, provide a valid interpretation of the statement, agree or disagree with the statement as you have interpreted it, and support your opinion using specific references to appropriate literary elements from the two works. Indicate whether you agree or disagree with the statement as you have interpreted it. Use the criteria suggested to analyze the works you have chosen. Instead, use specific references to appropriate literary elements (for exam- ple: theme, characterization, setting, point of view) to develop your analysis. Ft must haue been hard to admit doing these bad things and to reliue all the pain in his life. EVALUATION This essay begins by interpreting the statement and by establishing a controlling idea. Although the interpretation is simplistic, the writer states that he agrees with Lish and then discusses two autobiographies. The style of this essay is too informal, with the writer interrupting the analysis of Angelas Ashes twice to express his personal feelings. The organization of the piece is logical and there is substantive discussion research papers to buy of each text in terms of the main idea, but it lacks a strong con- clusion that clearly connects both texts to the quotation.

The sentence structure and vocab- ulary are also unsophisticated, though the writing is clear and correct throughout.

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